PAGE 18

June 2006

Shark Bytes

House of Cards

the number of yellows accrued so early in

chair in time-out instead. Trying to hog

flag itself ripped free and fluttered to the

the season. "But coach," one player

the swings at recess will have you stand-

ground a few feet away. It then took

remarked, "isn't one of those cards

ing against the wall, and talking back to

three or four minutes before the AR

yours?" Indeed, with soccer being such a

anyone in authority will have you on a

noticed the stick was missing its flag.

3. An AR's sidestep where the out-

low-scoring sport, every shot on goal

march to the principal's office. Likewise,

side cleat got stuck on the turf, causing a

bears huge significance. To have a goal

Mom and Dad can't come on the pitch to

torturously slow-motion tumble that

called back, a star forward sent off, or a

try to explain that the alleged tripping

looked like a tree being felled as arms

penalty kick awarded to the other team

was a mere tangling of feet, or that an

By Barb Sharkey

waved in a futile attempt to reverse grav-

for some unobserved infraction in the box

un-seeming gesture was actually a quirky

Special to

ity's basic law of physics.

can get a coach's dander up in a hurry.

family greeting. No, once the ref arrives,

4. An offside signal, the second half

In the old days, someone would

it's his or her ball game, and the players

dmit it, half the time they're your

A

of which looked like a drawbridge going

institute a day of sensitivity training for

that learn this the quickest will probably

best friend, ("Off side!! No goal!!!"),

up and down repeatedly as the poor AR

all involved. Refs would get to role play

do the best.

the rest of the time, it's "Are you blind?

could not decide whether the near side

teams behaving badly, while coaches,

But this is not to say the referees are

How can you make that call?"

or far side attacker was more offside.

dressed in snappy yellow and black uni-

not without a sense of humor. In the

Things are tightening up on the

5. A corner kick signal that ended up

forms, would get a chance to run the

midst of trying to dodge balls, correctly

pitch this year, and cards are flying, part-

swatting a passing player in the rear

diagonal and try to keep the peace.

rule, and maintain control of the pitch,

ly due (in Sharkbyte's opinion) to more

end. And this was a female AR to a male

Assistant coaches could try out their

even the sternest referee has to crack a

intentional help from the Assistant Refs

player.

Morse code signals with the flags, espe-

smile when the AR's begin having trou-

(ARs.) The refs are depending on these

6. A full-out sprint to the goal line

cially the one for "Hey! Cut that out!"

ble with the signals. It's not easy to keep

assistants for more than just the offside

(AR's eyes glued firmly on the play) with

But in our new, self-help age, the

all those flag positions straight, especial-

and out-of-play calls. All that shirt-hold-

an unfortunate obstacle - a large parent

modern coach might consider bringing

ly in the heat and excitement of the

ing, hand-in-the-back, elbow-hooking,

standing right on the touchline and also

moment.

in a sports attitude consultant, a special-

and other out-of-the-ref's-view aggressive

obsessed with eyes only for the play.

Consider the following situations,

ist who could soothe the psyches of the

play is being seen and called by the extra

Immovable object meets unstoppable

eyes on the touchline. Inappropriate lan-

seen by Roberto Alvarez, Washington's

most egotistical and aggressive players

force? The parent went down, and pos-

guage, whether of the verbal or body

State Youth Referee Administrator, and

while opening their hearts to the bigger

sibly learned to stay out of the AR's run-

type, is not being tolerated either.

submitted after Sharkbyte's request for

picture, which is: what the ref says,

ning path.

Anything much more than a small `who-

assistance about AR flags:

goes. It sort of all goes back to those

Hey, score one for the Good Guys. If

1. A particularly energetic throw-in

me-what-did-I-do?' shrug is probably

early days in school when you are first

only all lessons were so easily learned. s

going to end up with someone taking a

away from your parents whom you've

signal where the flagstick ended up slip-

walk to the bench.

had wrapped around your little finger for

ping through the AR's fingers and flying

Barb Sharkey is an assistant coach for a

Athletic directors are putting some

your first five years of life. Tantrums

in a very graceful arc right into the

Seattle boy's team and the recipient of the

pressure on their coaches to get a handle

thrown in kindergarten will not get you

coach's tummy, 20 feet away.

Hastings Media Award in 2001 for her

on the card situation, leading one coach

2. A variation on the above, where

continuing series of humorous

the playing time with the big blocks that

to have a discussion with his team about

observations both on and off the pitch.

you desire, but will have you sitting on a

the flagstick stayed in the hand, but the

Go USA!!!

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